Speak Truth to Yourself
How Your Inner Voice and Mental Discipline Shape Your Identity, Performance, and Purpose
Many of the most important words you'll ever hear are the ones you say to yourself.
Whether it’s the first five minutes in morning, the final seconds of a game, the quiet before a speech, or the moment just prior to signing your first big contract, your internal dialogue sets the tone for your decisions and actions. It can lead you toward courage—or cave you in with doubt. In the training ground of the mind, words are not noise. The words you use when you talk to yourself are tools that can build a powerful identity or a weak self-image.
The transcendental technique of using a mantra is a simple yet powerful mental performance tool that helps focus the mind, regulate emotions, and direct attention toward purposeful action. A mantra is a repeated phrase that provides clarity and strength. One effective three-part mantra is: “I am. I can. I will.”
These short affirmations remind us of our identity, our capability, and our commitment to act.
“I am” affirms who we are—or who we are becoming.
“I can” affirms our capacity to carry a load of responsibility.
“I will” affirms our resolve to act with courage and discipline.
I’ve used that mantra in the locker room before a game, during major life decisions, and in moments of uncertainty as a parent, teacher, and coach. My mantra is not just on call for big moments of life. It is something I use frequently, almost daily, to ground me and remind me that pursuing big things requires me to consistently be outside my comfort zone.
But here’s where it gets interesting. In addition to using first-person mantras, research in cognitive science and sports psychology supports the value of using third-person self-talk, a technique where you speak to yourself using your own name. For example:
“Mark, you’ve done hard things before. Stay calm and finish strong.”
Or, with positive affirmation statements:
Mark lifts heavy things—weights, burdens, responsibilities, and duties —because strength is not optional for the one who leads his family, his colleagues, his teammates, his students, and others.”
Mark does the work—even when it’s hard, even when no one is watching—because the work builds the man.
The technique of talking to myself as though it were the voice and carefully chosen words of a close friend, coach, or mentor creates the sense of hearing from someone else about the successful things they’ve seen me do previously and the special things they see in me presently. This third-person voice adds just enough distance from the emotion of the moment to engage the rational, problem-solving part of your brain.
It’s not denial—it’s discipline.
Third-person inner voice trains your internal coach to speak with composure and clarity, especially when life feels chaotic or the pressure of the moment adds doubt.
In scripture, the psalmist David used this type of strategy, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God.” Here David is not just narrating his emotions—he’s coaching himself toward hope. That’s biblical mindset training.
In high-pressure moments—trying a new skill, asking someone on a date, just before a big game, or prior to a presentation to a live audience—you need a positive mental script you can repeat, and rely on. And if you don’t have one, fear and your lousy comfort zone, will gladly write a negative one for you. Using a mantra—especially paired with third-person self-talk—can significantly improve emotional control, self-confidence, and consistent performance. It creates a mental pattern that replaces panic with purpose and poise.
It’s not magic—it’s mental discipline. And it works.
So why don’t we all use it? Because it sounds weird to talk about how best to talk to yourself. Plus, it feels awkward at first. Saying things like “I am strong” or “Mark, you’ve got this” to yourself might feel silly. But remember, this is your inner voice, you’re not talking to yourself out loud. No one but you is going to hear a word of it. And think back to learning how to walk, tie your shoes and riding a bike for the first time. You didn’t get it right the first time. So you repeatedly practiced even after falling down several times. Right? The same is true of learning new things as a grown up. Things like lifting weights, running a mile, or leading a team each require new strength and new skills. Mental fitness grows like physical fitness—through repetition, resistance, recovery, and rest.
That’s why I teach students and athletes to write their own mantra cards. Carry them. Tape them to a mirror. Speak them over and over. Not as empty hype just in high-stress moments, but as a daily declaration of truth. We live in a world that’s noisy, negative, and sometimes even nasty. Most individuals hear 10 times more critique and criticism than energy-giving encouragement each day. A well-formed mantra is a counterpunch—a way to fight back against the doubt that comes when you get discouraged. Positive self-talk is the anecdote that uses focused truth to get your brain on your side so that your actions will follow through and perform.
And here’s where it ties into faith: Scripture is filled with identity statements.
“You are my child.” “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” “You are more than a conqueror.”
Final Thought
The mind is a battlefield, and the words we choose are our weapons to win the battle. Train your internal dialogue. Practice self-coaching. And in the words of Joshua 1:9, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid… for God is with you wherever you go.”
Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s the presence of a decision. A decision to aim high, speak truth to yourself, take the next right step, and confidently move with uphill effort.
Reflection Questions
What words or thoughts usually run through my mind in moments of stress or pressure? Are they helping or hurting me?
Which part of the mantra “I am. I can. I will.” do I need to strengthen the most in my daily thinking—and why?
Write three third-person affirmation statements. How might addressing myself by name with affirming statements help me on a daily basis and in high-pressure situations?
What Scripture verse could I turn into a personal mantra to carry with me into my work, relationships, or goals?
If I consistently replaced negative self-talk with truth-filled mantras and third-person affirmations, how might that reshape my mindset and my actions to try something new or persist in a long-term personal goal?
Dr. Mark Kolkman is a teacher, coach, and club sponsor at a large public high school in suburban Chicago. He teaches social-emotional skills and personal agency to students in grades 9–12, helping them actualize a vision for their unique preferred future. Mark is passionate about learning, leadership, and character development. He and his wife, Kim, are proud parents of two sons and tolerate a couple of so-so dogs. When he's not teaching and coaching, Mark is active at his local church and he loves to eat well and sweat a little while working out everyday.
This is very powerful and an outstanding compliment to the message of Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome. I will put this in my tool box and employ it going forward. Thank you Mark